I know that most folks write bios, bragging about the things they’ve done, their education, and the awards their children gained in school. I’ve decided to conduct of interview instead. I’m going to interview myself, primarily because I already know all the answers.

Q. So, who is this Russell Sanders guy anyway and why should I care?

A. He’s me and you shouldn’t.

Q. What am I going to learn by reading this?

A. It depends on how much you already know about me.  If you already know my real view on the B-52s and why I’ll be one of the few survivors when the zombie hordes swarm over everything then there isn’t much on this site that will surprise you. If not, then read on.

Q. You look pretty harsh from your pictures. You don’t really smile and you sometimes look like you’re hunting for the guy who stole your lunch money. Do you have any friends?

A. I like birds and have ever since my daughter brought home a baby lovebird named Felix.  She quickly grew tired of him and he adopted me instead.  Ever since, I’ve loved birds of all sorts.  I live on a lake that is jammed full of ducks, herons, swans, and occasionally sea gulls.  Its my happy place.  Whenever the world seems crazy, I can sit there and watch the birds and things just seem OK.

Q.  OK, great, but I asked you about people, not birds.  What do you think of people?

A.  People are stupid.

Q. I’ll presume that means you like to be a recluse.

A.  I prefer the term “hermit”.

Q.  If you like your alone time that much, do you do anything creative?

A.  I was learning to play the piano.

Q.  How did that work out?

A.  I sucked.  Fortunately, I busted my hand up pretty badly in Afghanistan and now I have an excuse.

Q.  Wow, Afghanistan, — why would you go there?

A.  Mind your own damn business!

Q.  OK, Sorry.  It just seems like an unusual work environment.

A.  I got blasted by a truck bomb in Iraq so by comparison, Afghanistan is a piece of cake.

Q.  Oh, well I guess I understand.

A.  No you don’t.  I hate cake.  Both Afghanistan and Iraq totally suck!

Q.  I see.  Well, in that case, do you do anything creative now?

A.  I’m studying drawing and digital painting.  I used to do computer animation but I’ve since phased away from that.

Q.  What’s this rumor I hear about your involvement in media?

A. I adore audio drama. Its my thing. I was sucked into this when I was eleven years old when my uncle bought me a cassette tape recorder for my birthday. It replaced an old reel-to-reel that I’d gotten because some relative of mine had abandoned it. I only had two reels to record on so I had to be conservative but I loved that you could record a sound and play it back. When I got the cassette, I started recording episodes of Gilligan’s Island and had one audio recording of the movie “Them”. My father, the hard-core marine officer, used to curse at this activity as he couldn’t understand why anyone would want to listen to a show that they’d already seen. In those days, he firmly believed that you watch a movie once and then you’d seen it. He was a brilliant man, — truly one of the smartest I ever knew, but he was dead wrong on this issue.

Over the years, that progressed with experimenting in cutting voices from different shows together to form tailored audio plays. They were pretty horrible but I loved them anyway. Then, I got tuned into the NPR replay of “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” which was followed by “The Lord of the Rings”. I was completely amazed. This was what audio drama was meant to be. This was followed by the NPR radio play series called “Nightfall”. I’ve been hooked ever since.

Q. What do you read? Do you focus on important texts or are you still stuck in the comic book era?

A. I was never into comic books. Instead, I’ve studied religion since I was 15-years old. I’ve detailed the parallels between Assyrians and Babylonian myths and the foundations of the Bible, the connections between Persian beliefs and the philosophies of Jesus Christ, and pondered the intellectual struggles of the early church and Christian leaders of the Middle Ages. Along the way, I’ve studied most of the Eastern religions in fair depth and due to my job and private studies, am considered something of an expert on Islam. Having gone through all of that, I’ve decided that I know far less about God and the Universe than I thought I did and the only singular truth is that any religious belief that teaches that God wants you to hurt someone else is wrong.

Q. What about Politics?

A. I pay WAY too many taxes.

Q. Is that it?

A. This site isn’t about any political viewpoint. You might find a joke here and there but nothing is meant to sway anyone’s opinion.  As far as I’m concerned, everyone is free to believe what they will as long as they don’t seek to harm or degrade anyone else.

Q. OK. That’s simple enough. In that case, let’s move on to something else. What about boating?

A. I love boating.  In fact, it was my first career choice. I was nine years old and visited the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. I told my mom that I wanted to be a pirate when I grew up.  By the time I was twelve, I’d figured out that there weren’t a lot of folks hoisting the main sails and firing black powder cannons but the urge never left me. My father tailored my desire by teaching me to sail. We were both members of the San Diego Yatch Club and at age 14, I became a certified “captain”, which back then meant that I could sign out boats and sail them around San Diego Harbor.

Since then, I’ve owned a 30-foot Vega Horizon named “The Walrus” and am in the market for a good Sea Ray Sundancer.

Q.  If you died and came back as an animal, which animal would you be?

A.  You’re an idiot!

Q. Would you mind sharing your credit card number for the rest of us?

A. Sure.  Its VISA card number 8675309.

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